Currently...

this tree always jumps the gun on spring // berkeley, ca

my boots, today

Loving — I've really been digging wearing my Italy boots again (ie, boots I bought in Italy). They're gorgeous and fairly comfortable, and they make every outfit look more stylish. Something I desperately need given my penchant for workout pants and pajamas! I've felt better about myself every day since I've started wearing them again. I've also really been loving Diamond Rings latest album, Free Dimensional, and I've been listening to it exclusively the last few days or so. I just really relate to it and also he's great at rapping. Yes, a gay white Canadian boy is good at rapping. It's true! Check it out for yourself.

Wishing — that it was spring already. I want blossoms, and bulbs, and gorgeous days with warmth and glistening dew, and I want that feeling you get when winter goes far away and the days get much longer and we "spring foward" and suddenly the world doesn't seem quite as bleak anymore. I can see the beauty in every season, even winter, but I'm sick of winter by this point. In the bay area, spring explodes in February. I better have my camera ready! Bring it on. I just looked back at my photos from last year & the trees here were already blooming on 1/31, so although that was actually early, now I'm even more impatient! Lets do this!

Craving — Candy corn. Yes, I am aware it's January still, and that Halloween is far away, but it is seriously the most fun holiday with the most fun colors I can think of, and candy corn is far and away my favorite candy. Instead of getting all upset that I generally don't eat it anymore because I'm vegan (though each of the last two years I've allowed myself a bag, because I love candy corn, dammit), this year I'm planning on making some really awesome treats that look like candy corn, but aren't candy corn (and are easily made vegan). The two I'm looking forward to most are the candy corn cake & candy corn sugar cookies. I learned when I made a rainbow birthday cake years ago that I really, really love playing with food coloring. I try not to use too much of it, as it's not great for you ... as in, it's been since September 2010 that I've used any. I definitely think it's time to go candy corn crazy, don't you? Halloween all year long!

Missing — Normal life. Running. Sleep. I want those things again. Nothing has been "normal" about this year so far and I don't know what that means. Will it ever get back there? Is this the "new normal"? I'm sure I can accept it if it is the new normal, but I need to know whether that's the case first. I guess February will tell? Am I overthinking things agian? Probably...

Worrying — about shooting a concert tonight. I am really, really, really tired. The show will be very good (Geographer and Midi Matilda are playing), but I don't want to be a mess. I also don't want to use all of my energy reserves later to make it through the show, then be a mess tomorrow, because tomorrow may be one of those really hard Fridays, and I could use a Friday where I didn't end up freaking out...but oh well. This is the life I've chosen, and all of my choices have led to me being this exhausted. Disco nap it is! I'm trying very very hard to stay positive so I will stop at that.