"But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared..."

I could so very seriously fall asleep in these leaves right now, except now they're wet, and that's gross. 

Oh, internet. I have so many things I want to say to you. Remember back when I journalled online in high school., and it was 1999 and I would come home and write about my day? So many little things seemed to happen back then, and I thought they were all pretty big things, and I could write about them on the internet, which was so small, and no one I knew ever read what I wrote who wasn't already part of my inner circle of "friends who use the internet" (well, unless I forced them, which did happen). Days seemed so long then, too ...

But all day I've been sitting here with this blank box open, hoping to write, and the only thing I can think right now is that I just want it to be Thanksgiving already. I need time off. I really, really need time off. And how each day, especially since Jeffy got sicker, has raced by in a messy blur, and the only real lesson I've been learning is that I have very little control over my life right now. For someone who loves control as much as I do, this is a major shitstorm, and I feel exhausted, helpless, even weak.

But really, I have no reason to complain, because tomorrow I will walk out of work at noon, and I won't come back until Monday. I only have 1/2 of a day of work left before 4.5 days off. Suck it up!

...it is now 10pm, again, and I've yet to finish this post. Ugh. Story of my life these last few weeks.

Sucking it up! Commencing: now.