Currently

Watching: Right now Scott & I are taking refuge in television as we heal from Jeffy's death. We're so happy that "our shows" are (mostly) back on: The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy & American Dad. We're glued to the TV on Sunday nights, and it's our way of winding down the weekend (and not thinking about how awful it is that Monday is barreling toward us like a freight train). During October we are always grumbling because baseball pre-empts all of our shows, but somehow November wasn't much better this year, and there are still re-runs on each week now. What gives, Fox? Other than that, we're watching Battlestar Galactica (winding down season 3) and during the last week of Jeffy's life we found ourselves watching Star Trek: TNG and finishing up the Star Trek movies on DVD.

Listening to: I actually haven't been listening to a lot of music during these last couple of weeks because a lot of music makes me cry since Jeffy has been sick. A lot of music is about love and death, you guys, duh! I've been feeling sensitive to it so I haven't been listening. But before two weeks ago, I was listening to Maximo Park, The Birthday Massacre, Aesthetic Perfection, The Rifles, Milburn ... bands that I've either seen live within the last couple of months, or bands that remind me of those bands. Scott & I also recently discovered Various Cruelties via a commercial airing here in the US, and we're both digging that.

Oregon Slug

Planning: Our Christmas decorations, and plans for new years eve. We've had parties every year on NYE since 2010, but we're on the fence about this year, mostly because a lot of people we know have already made plans, and this will be our first set of holidays without Jeffy. I am really sensitive about NYE, more than any other holiday, and it must be perfect in order for me to not have a terrible sense of foreboding about the coming year. Of course, last year's party was perfect, and the year still turned out to be painful and troubled, for the most part, so perhaps I'm just being silly. Either way, we're going to pretend we're having a party, even if it's just us, or us and one or two other people. As for Christmas, we're getting our tree this weekend (!) and we're more than a little thrilled about that. With that goes getting all of the decorations out and set up. I am a sucker for baubles and Christmas lights, along with my Oregon Slug Christmas ornament (above). I really love the holidays, and this year may be leaner than previous years, but we're still going to enjoy it, and each other.

Thinking about: Honestly? Right now I am thinking about taking a nap. It's pretty much all I want to do. I am also thinking a lot about logistics for today, as Scott and I need to hit the ceramics studio this afternoon and finish trimming our pots & cups for the end of our class. Thursday is the last day to place items on the shelf for firing, so we're cutting it pretty close--especially since that means our items need to be completely dry by Thursday (yikes!). I am also dealing with a pretty terrible back injury, which makes doing anything on the pottery wheel very painful. This is the first serious back trouble I've ever had, and of course Jeffy had something to do with it: while pilling him, and holding him down (poor baby) during the last week of his life, I somehow pulled a muscle that runs from the right side of my back all the way around to my front. It's hurt to breathe deeply or move my right arm or, you know, sleep for all of that time. WELL! Last night I was sitting on the couch and suddenly sneezed. During the sneeze I heard an awful crunchy sound coming from my side, and suddenly I was doubled over in intense pain. To this moment I can't lift my right arm without extreme pain, and my measly 200mg ibuprofen aren't doing the job very well anymore. Therefore, all I can really think about is how much my side hurts and how I have to somehow use a pottery wheel later! Thankfully we're leaving work early to take care of this now.

Reading: I am kind of "between books" right now. I just recently finished A Song of Ice and Fire (the entire series) and had started reading it in May, so I'm taking some time to not be reading seriously right now. I've technically started reading Wuthering Heights because I've never read any Bronte, but it's slow going. I've also started re-reading Rockabye by my wonderful e-friend & birthday sister Rebecca Woolf, because she and it are very inspiring, and I need some inspiration right now. What are you reading?

Making me happy: There are actually a lot of things making me happy right now (even though last week was one of the worst of my life) -- I am really feeling the joy in the everyday again, and that makes me so happy and grateful. The biggest thing, though, is that I started running again on Sunday after about two months off. This makes me happier than I ever could express; I simply love running. I love the way it makes me feel. I love that it frees me, mentally and physically, from my own preconceived notions, my own ideas of what I am capable of. In spite of my bum back muscle, I'm trying to complete a "runstreak" where I run 1-2 miles every day for the rest of the year. I am really, really motivated to do this and reclaim my life after several months of feeling like things were spiraling out of control at home, and if you want to follow my progress, I'm tracking everything (including my feelings!) on my dailymile page.

Thanks to Danielle at Sometimes Sweet for the inspiration for these posts! This is my first time contributing to "Currently" on a Tuesday. I really enjoyed this brain dump, not gonna lie...